Fox News Confirms There Is Absolutely No News Today

NEW YORK, NY—While other news organizations are reporting on the indictments coming down on former top Trump campaign officials, conservative media outlet Fox News chimed in Monday morning to confirm there is absolutely no news going on today.

“We checked with all our top news people, exhausted all of our most trusted sources, and they unanimously confirmed there is nothing going on at all,” the crew of Fox & Friends reported. “Looks like we’re all just gonna head home early today. We’ll try again tomorrow I guess.”

At publishing time, Rush Limbaugh had cancelled his afternoon news program, confirming there was just nothing to talk about today.