SALISBURY, MD—An invitation to what seemed to be a fun time of lighthearted fellowship and socializing at local church member Heather Williams’ house, after further review, began to sound more and more like an awkward and agonizing few hours of getting sold cheap products that nobody actually needs, sources confirmed Friday.
“At first, I was really excited to finally connect with some of the ladies at church,” one woman who had recently started coming to the church told reporters. “It’s hard for me to meet people, so I was relieved that Heather was so eager to have me over.”
But the woman quickly realized all wasn’t what it seemed, according to sources. As she reviewed the Facebook invite that Williams was just dying to send to her, a deep sense of foreboding began to spread through her chest, as she saw the “informal night of fellowship” would include a raffle, drawings for prizes, several product demos, and “an opportunity to become financially independent.”
“I admit, I haven’t been to many official ‘fellowship nights’ before,” she said. “But is it normal for them to be sponsored by a makeup company, with professionally printed fliers that offer us free facials just for hanging out?”
At publishing time, the poor woman had tried to turn down the invite, but was guilted into going to the party by Williams, who reportedly asked, “Don’t you want to fellowship with other godly women? It’s just really sad that there are so many people who don’t care about their sisters in Christ.”