DC Talk Announces 2017 Cruise On Sea Of Fans’ Tears

FRANKLIN, TN—After an endless week of hype following several social media teasers, legendary Christian music trio DC Talk announced Wednesday that their “Jesus Freak Cruise” will set sail in 2017 upon the tears of their many fans who thought the announcement would be a new full-length album.

“The guys are doing a ‘nu thang’ with this voyage,” stated Kate Forsett, the group’s public relations manager. “I know some of you thought the build-up was a prelude to some all-new songs or musical effort, but trust me, your crying is not in vain—the massive ship hosting the Jesus Freak Cruise will float upon the surging ocean of your tears.”

Forsett said those fans lucky and wealthy enough to join the cruise would be able to indulge in several fun activities with the members of DC Talk themselves, including competitive crosswording with Kevin Max, a shuffleboard exhibit by Michael Tait, and a “Feelin’ Fresh, Even Wit’ Arthritis” seminar by TobyMac.