MONTGOMERY, AL - Local Southern Baptist preacher Bud Vaughn formally declared his congregation to be a safe space in which he and other church members would be shielded from any mention of racism, oppression, discrimination, or other issues of social justice, sources confirmed Monday.
As part of its safe space program, the church provides those seeking shelter with miniature Confederate flags and a soothing ambient bro-country soundtrack.
"If you've been triggered by someone suggesting that Christians need to speak out against social injustice of any kind, come on by Garth Ave. Baptist," Pastor Vaughn said in a video announcement on the church's website. "We've even got puppies dressed up as famous Civil War generals for you to play with!"
"Confederate generals only, of course," he added gruffly.
At publishing time, a horde of triggered Baptists had rushed the building begging for sanctuary.