College Student Tithes Ramen

LOUISVILLE, KY—Local college student and church member Justin Burke was spotted digging through the pockets of his jacket Sunday morning as the offering plate began being passed around the sanctuary at his church.

When the plate arrived to his usual spot in the back row, Burke was ready with his humble offering consisting of a half serving of Maruchan Ramen instant noodles, which he quietly placed in the plate, trying not to draw attention to himself for his sacrificial contribution to his church.

“I don’t really want to talk about it,” Burke told reporters after the service. “Yeah, I gave sacrificially this week, but it’s no more or less than anyone else in this church would do. This is my firstfruits offering.” Burke also claimed his financial philosophy is to “give ’til it hurts,” as exemplified in his selfless, dried noodle block donation.

Some sources even claimed that Burke had included the chicken-flavored seasoning with the half-block of noodles, a prized possession among students at Burke’s dormitory.

At publishing time, Burke’s generous contribution had inspired other members of the church’s college ministry to begin gathering up a mighty offering consisting of three half-full cans of Monster energy drinks and an entire box of instant macaroni and cheese.