Breaking: Nation Furious Over Giving Government Less Of Their Money

U.S.—The nation was in an absolute uproar as the GOP tax bill passed Congress Wednesday and made its way to President Trump’s desk, with millions of irate citizens expressing their total fury over the fact that the federal government will now be taking less of their money week in and week out.

Hordes of protesters gathered in the nation’s capital to decry the decrease of government taxation of their incomes, sources confirmed.

“America is dead,” one weeping woman said as she found out she would be giving the government $2,000 less under the new tax plan. “If ever there were a time for Americans to rise up and revolt against government oppression, this is it.”

“George Washington died for our right to give large portions of our paychecks to the federal government, and today Republicans are dancing on his grave,” she added before screaming wildly at the sky in hysterics.

At publishing time, relieved citizens discovered that the new tax rates are merely minimums, and they are free to pay as high a rate as they wish.