Bible Study Latecomer Clearly Stopped For Starbucks On Way Over

SAN ANTONIO, TX—As Chelsea O’Connor quietly walked into the room at Refuge Life Church where Tuesday morning Bible study was already 13 minutes underway, it was immediately obvious to all in attendance that she had stopped to pick up Starbucks on her way over, church sources confirmed.

“She was brazen about it,” one group attendee said after the study. “She didn’t even try to hide it. She just strolled in carrying the big cup of coffee she obviously made time to stop and buy at the Starbucks drive-thru on her way to the church, despite the fact that she was running super late for our group.”

According to other witnesses, O’Connor could be heard blowing into the little hole on top of the to-go cup in an attempt to cool the piping hot beverage before sipping it, indicating that it was indeed freshly purchased.

At publishing time, O’Connor had abruptly stood and left the Bible study for undisclosed reasons, while staring intently at her phone.