Archaeologists Uncover Jesus’s Gulfstream Jet

ISRAEL—New historical evidence uncovered in present-day Israel suggests that Jesus and His disciples traveled around the region preaching the good news of Christ’s coming in a luxurious Gulfstream V jet, sources confirmed Thursday.

Archaeologists uncovered the ruins of Jesus’s private airport just outside Nazareth, as well as the rusted-out remains of a luxury jet they now believe He used to fly from sermon to sermon.

“This is great news for prosperity preachers,” Kenneth Copeland said Thursday. “This just goes to show we’re not heretics. We’re not deceivers. We’re not charlatans more concerned about making money than ministering to the lost. We’re right in line with Jesus and His original mission on this earth.”

“Jesus was the Son of God, for crying out loud. Do you think He’d humble Himself to walking around in the dirt? I don’t think so,” he added. “He had the finest planes, wore the finest clothes, ate the finest foods, and always sat at the best seat at the table.”

While scholars originally believed Jesus traveled around the countryside on foot like most of the impoverished citizens of the day, it’s now clear He and His disciples rode around in style, using the meager donations of His supporters to fund “only the finest” modes of transportation. Upon the discovery, scholars scrambled to revise maps of Jesus’s ministry travels, replacing the well-worn routes on dirt roads through poor villages with dashed lines indicating the flight paths he took in His multi-million dollar aircraft.