ROCHESTER, MN — The relationship between Dave Fromm and his daughter Lucille may have been irreparably annihilated, but at least the math homework is finally finished, say sources close to the situation.
According to Jennifer Fromm, her husband and child just finished the 4.5 hour one-on-one ordeal of reducing fractions, a marathon challenge which has now destroyed any hope they might have had of a positive relationship with one another.
"It is finished!" Dave reportedly cried out, lifting his eyes to the heavens, as little Lucille ran off to bury her face in her mother's arms. "Woe is me, for I may have lost my daughter's love, but at least we made it all the way through Singapore Math 2B, lesson 12, problems 32-43. She'll come to recognize the weight of the sacrifice I made for her when she's older."
Things are similarly bad from Lucille's standpoint.
"Mommy, does Daddy even love me anymore?" she wailed, her dress covered with eraser scraps. "Why do we have to do fractions together? Can't we just go back to being friends?"
Sources say that this is the most tension the Fromm household has experienced since the great Spelling Schism of October 2024.
At publishing time, Dave and Lucille had made up, only for the parent-child relationship to be shattered once again by an assignment on converting decimals to fractions.
Coming soon to a Democrat-controlled city near you!
