When someone is as awesome as you, every once in a while you just need to let the world know about it, right?
But—let’s be honest—boasting about oneself is sort of frowned upon in most Christian circles. Here’s where we can help.
Courtesy of your friends at The Babylon Bee, here are 7 easy steps to looking humble while bragging about yourself on social media:
1.) When you do something marvelous, or something happens that makes you look marvelous, don’t even think about keeping it between you and God. Matthew 6:1–6 is so addressing something else.
2.) Drop everything except your phone. Open a social media app, or perhaps three (biblical number), and get excited.
3.) Crafting is everything. Be sure to precede your self-spotlighting remark with “honored” or “humbled.” Those two words are pure gold. And throw in a “profoundly” just to be safe.
“I am profoundly humbled by the unique opportunity to . . .”—and then tell us why you are freaking awesome.
4.) Never forget that a pious hashtag—like #blessed—can cover a multitude of self-references. If you can make it a semi-obscure Bible verse, like, say, #thelineshavefallenformeinpleasantplaces, then you are pro level.
5.) As people begin complimenting you, share and retweet like your platform depends on it. If you’re on Twitter and too bashful to retweet, simply reply with a period in front so that all can see the kudos you rightly received.
.@WellKnownPerson Thank you so much! I too thought it was the most important book of the year. #hardworkpaysoff #godisgood #tooblessedtobestressed #amirite
Don’t forget to screen-shot those compliments and post them as images, too.
6.) Never, ever look up Proverbs 27:2. If you accidentally see it, determine immediately that spreading praise of yourself is not the same as praising yourself. If that fails, then we’re really not sure we can help.
7.) Thank your all-glorious Savior and King for three momentous dates in your life: the day you were born, the day you were born again, and June 14, 2016—the day Twitter unveiled the ability to retweet yourself. And all the people said “Amen.”
With the help of these steps, you’ve got a foolproof way to maintain the appearance of humility while shamelessly bragging online. Now get out there and (humbly) let the world know how awesome you are!