This is The Babylon Bee Weekly News Show for the week of 7/24/2020.

In this episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk about the week’s big stories like Nick Cannon informing us all about the rotten savage mountain people in our midst, humanity deciding producing masks was more important than sustaining the earth, and all of the times the Babylon Bee has successfully predicted the future through its prophetic ministry.

In the subscriber portion, Kyle and Ethan discover a way to eat an entire civilization in a few bites and answer voicemails from subscribers.

Show Outline

Introduction

Stuff That’s Good

Kyle likes Pandemic Hot Zone.

Ethan likes Jason Brubaker.

Also mentioned: Ethan Nicolle, Jason Brubaker and Doug TenNapel once did a podcast.

Weird News

Swarm of flying ants spreads across London, Kent and Sussex

Man unearths 'witch bottle' with teeth inside - but is urged to 'put it back'

Frustrated in lockdown? Send your scream to Iceland. Wait, what?

Man throws 19 chopsticks into archery target forGuinness record

Sea gull rescued with face mask wrapped around legs

Stories of the Week

Story 1

Walmart Now Requires All Shoppers To Wear Pants

Summary: In a move that's being called "unprecedented tyranny," Walmart is now requiring all shoppers to wear pants in their stores.

But really, Walmart told everyone to wear masks in their stores.

• Shout out to Jimmy Humphrey for submitting the headline idea

Story 2

Nick Cannon Quits 'Masked Singer': 'I Need To See A Person's Skin Color Before I Pass Judgment'

Summary: Nick Cannon has stepped down from his position as host of The Masked Singer, saying he doesn't know how to judge someone's singing voice without first seeing the color of their skin. The move comes just days after Cannon totally owned white people on his podcast, calling them "sick animals," and "rotten little mountain people."

Hey, that last part is mostly true! Cannon was fired by ViacomCBS for crazy anti-white, anti-semitic comments. Though he was not fired by Masked Singer.

• Adam Ford seems to have started the controversy with this tweet: https://twitter.com/Adam4d/status/1283087941271801861

Story 3

10 Safety Tips For Going Back To Church

Topic of the Week

Fulfilled Babylon Bee Prophecies

Hate Mail

We are serenaded by someone who doesn’t like what we do. Give his video some likes and positive comments. The world would be a better place if people who disagreed with each other created stuff instead of destroying stuff.

Subscriber Portion

Mailbag and CHIRPS

A subscriber mailed The Bee some bug chips. And two other subscribers sent The Bee audio questions, so Kyle and Ethan dive into the mailbag!

To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans.