NASHVILLE, TN—Stressing that he will follow God’s will for his life no matter who tries to discourage him, local worship leader Vinnie Walters, 26, reported Thursday that he feels called by God to be a famous and wealthy recording artist.
“I’ve felt this very definite call on my life for years now—that’s actually why I first picked up a guitar and started singing worship music,” Walters explained to reporters. “I just knew God wanted me to become a wildly famous superstar, selling out stadiums around the world, amassing a large fortune. And my time as a worship leader has only reinforced my calling—you should see how I can rile up a Sunday morning crowd.”
Walters claims as least a few people have confirmed God’s calling by saying he should “give it a shot” when he described it to them, several of them even going so far as to like his Facebook page.
“I know it’s true because God has placed an unmistakable, burning desire within my heart for the realization of this mission,” the humble worship leader told the room full of reporters, going on to describe himself as “really blessed” to have such a “specific and clear” calling from God.
“And if any of you want to get in on the ground floor, you can pick up one of my CDs and a t-shirt—only $15 each. I’ve got some with me.”
“It’s a kingdom investment,” he added.