Trump Proposes Sea Force

WASHINGTON, D.C.—At a cabinet meeting held Friday, President Trump proposed a new “Sea Force,” a branch of the military that would have naval ships, boats, and trained warfighters defending the interests of the United States on the high seas.

“I was thinking a lot about the Space Force last night,” Trump said, “and then it hit me: what about a Sea Force?”

Cabinet members looked around at each other silently, grim expressions on their faces, but no one spoke up.

“No, really, I’m not joking. Most of the planet is water, right? I think I saw that on the Discovery Channel once,” he continued as he passionately argued for the new branch of the military. “I know it sounds crazy, but just hear me out. We could have ships that battle, ships that destroy, and ships that carry aircraft. Not sure what we’d call ’em, but we can cross that bridge when we come to it.”

One military strategist at the meeting began to speak up, saying, “Mr. President, you’re aware we alread—” but was cut off by a wide-eyed Pompeo waving his arms wildly to get him to stop talking. “Uh, I mean, we’re all for the idea, Mr. President, sir.”

At publishing time, Trump had proposed a “Sky Force,” a “Ground Force,” a “Coast Force,” and a “Sea Force But Kinda Also Ground Force” to complement the activities of the Sea and Space Forces.