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Pope Admits He’s Making Up Pretty Much Everything As He Goes

VATICAN CITY—In an honest, impromptu homily delivered Monday, Pope Francis admitted he is just making most of his theology up as he goes, ignoring...

Pope Leaves Factory Sticker On Hat To Garner Street Cred

VATICAN CITY—After picking up a brand-new Pope hat at a Vatican City Lids retail shop, Pope Francis reportedly elected to leave the New Era...

Pope Francis Escapes Handlers, Attempts To OK Polygamy, Unitarianism

VATICAN CITY---Pope Francis again eluded his security detail Monday, this time quickly releasing statements which seem to cast doubt on the Catholic Church's longstanding positions...

Vatican To Begin Accepting Competitor Baptisms

VATICAN CITY---In another example of its recently-adopted "customer centric" business model, the Vatican announced Friday that it would begin taking competitor baptisms effective immediately---a...

Pope Francis Spotted Nonchalantly Smoking Large Joint

VATICAN CITY---Noting his lack of discretion and overall nonchalant demeanor about the whole thing, multiple sources reported seeing Pope Francis smoking a large joint in the...

Pope Francis Declares All Cats Christians At Vatican Summit

VATICAN CITY—In a sweeping statement Tuesday, Pope Francis announced his belief that all cats across the world are Christians. Although pundits frequently acknowledge the Pope's progressive...
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