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Gay Man Bravely Comes Out As Fan Of Chick-Fil-A

SAN DIEGO, CA—Saying he couldn't hide his true self from the world any longer, local gay man Mark Porter bravely came out of the...

Chick-Fil-A Fires Yet Another Employee For Publicly Voicing Support For LGBT...

HUNTSVILLE, AL—Bigoted, homophobic restaurant chain Chick-fil-A is at it again: the Christian-owned fast-food joint just fired yet another employee for publicly voicing his approval...

Family Prays At McDonald’s, Food Miraculously Transforms Into Chick-Fil-A

GLENS FALLS, NY—Just moments after bowing their heads and speaking a few words of blessing over their meal at McDonald's, the Michelson family opened...

Evangelicals Abandon Trump In Droves After He Says McDonald’s Is Better...

U.S.---In a sudden exodus that is sure to have a significant impact on the 2020 election, American evangelicals have begun abandoning their support of...

Chick-Fil-A Food Found To Contain Addictive Crack Cocaine

U.S.—According to a new FDA report, the chicken present in Chick-fil-A sandwiches and nuggets has been found to contain a highly addictive amount of...

New Chick-Fil-A Miraculously Constructed In Six Literal Days

LA MESA, CA—According to astonished sources near the construction site, a brand-new Chick-fil-A restaurant was miraculously built in exactly six literal days, though the...

Local Baptist Careful To Fully Immerse Chick-Fil-A Nuggets In Honey Mustard...

RANCHO CUCAMONGA, CA—"Lots of people just pour or sprinkle," local Baptist Ryan Etherton says as he slowly lowers his fourth Chick-fil-A nugget into his...

Chick-Fil-A Employee Seen In Cranky Mood

MARIETTA, GA—Multiple sources are reporting that a local Chick-fil-A employee, Mary Beth Hall, was spotted in a cranky mood while on the clock Wednesday. “Our family...

Man Suing Chick-Fil-A For Emotional Damages

LEXINGTON, KY---Local man George McNear is fed up with Chick-Fil-A being closed on Sundays and is suing the fast-food giant, claiming they are directly responsible...
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