Nation's Husbands Freaking Out About Omicron After Learning Symptoms Are Like A Mild Cold
Health · Dec 8, 2021 · BabylonBee.com

U.S. - The men of the nation are "totally freaking out" about the omicron variant of the coronavirus after learning the symptoms are similar to the common cold. Husbands everywhere reported they are "deeply concerned" about the variant as they could end up in the bed with the sniffles.

"A common cold?! NOOOO!!!" shouted one husband in Iowa after learning he would suffer very mild flu-like symptoms should he contract the omicron variant. "We must lock down, flatten the curve, social distance, and quarantine!"

"I absolutely CANNOT handle getting the sniffles!" he added, arming himself with multiple cans of Lysol and hand sanitizer, triple-masking, and locking himself in the bedroom. His wife rolled her eyes and went about her life, sliding nachos under the door for him every few hours.

There have been no deaths reported from omicron as of yet, but a few dozen men certainly acted like they were dying.


When guns are finally banned in the coming utopia, you may still need to defend yourself on the rare occasion.

Subscribe to our YouTube channel for more tactical instruction

Ready to join the conversation? Subscribe today.

Access comments and our fully-featured social platform.

Sign up Now

You must signup or login to view or post comments on this article.