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Modern-Day Rebel Plans To Grow Up, Get Married, Be Productive Member Of Society

ROLLA, MO—Stressing that he doesn’t care what anyone thinks of him, 16-year-old modern-day rebel Anthony Clark revealed to sources close to him Thursday his wild plans to grow up, get married, and be a productive member of society.

“I want to be someone who acts like a man and takes responsibility for myself,” the renegade teen revealed to a friend. “I know it sounds crazy, but I can’t stand the idea of just floating through life, demanding everything be given to me, and acting like a victim. I don’t really care what everyone else is doing.”

Clark went on to say he would love to have several kids once he’s married, and is “honestly thrilled” by the idea of buying a house and working hard to provide for a family, no matter what it takes.

The 21st-Century James Dean said he even wants to become an active member of a local church, which he plans to support with whatever mental, physical, and financial means God blesses him with. “That sounds like a good life to me,” he said.

Asked by his friend where in the world he gets these crazy ideas, he replied, “My dad.”