WASHINGTON, D.C. - The official DHS Disinformation Governance Board, more popularly known as the Ministry of Truth, confirmed today their latest disinformation findings: Rachel Levine is a woman.

The declaration occurred at a press conference held this morning at the Ministry's gigantic, pyramid-shaped, 1000-foot-tall building that towers over Washington.

"There's a lot of disinformation going around out there, with people pointing out Rachel Levine's low voice register, prominent Adam's apple, and propensity to not ask for help at Home Depot," said Secretary of Homeland Security Alejandro Mayorkas standing at a towering lectern in front of a banner reading "War Is Peace, Freedom is Slavery, Rachel Levine Is A Woman."

"These are all hallmarks of classic Russian disinformation campaigns designed to destabilize our society and help Putin beat us."

Other pieces of disinformation going around, according to Mayorkas, include the idea that Disney is grooming kids, the claim that inflation is happening, the far-right misinformation campaign painting Joe Biden as a senile, incompetent old boob, the claim that a triangle is a three-sided figure, and the "horribly offensive notion that the grass is green."

"If you see anyone sharing these ideas, report them immediately."

At publishing time, Mayorkas had confirmed that anyone who shares the disinformation that Rachel Levine is a man will be called into the Ministry of Love for questioning.

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