U.S. — After yet another failed assassination attempt against President Trump yesterday, the national media has agreed to just start reporting when Trump wasn't shot at.
Journalists have become fatigued with repeatedly reporting the same story over and over, believing that it's now more newsworthy when no one shot any bullets at President Trump.
"From now on, just assume someone shot at Trump today unless we report otherwise," said CBS News Director Bari Weiss. "Repetitively informing the public about assassination attempts no longer serves our viewing public. It would be like us spending half the morning news segment every day telling our audience that the sun rose again. We'll just let you know if it doesn't."
Sources within the news ecosystem say that editors are "so over" having to put out articles about gunmen trying to assassinate the leader of the free world. "It's like copy, paste, another day gone. It's so monotonous," said ABC News editor Matt Khalil. "This isn't why I got into journalism, to tell one story on repeat. The public already knows someone probably shot at Trump today. It's time to move on to more important issues."
At publishing time, national media sites had begun directing any queries about Trump assassination attempts to the knowledgeable people over on BlueSky.
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