Local Woman Confident Her Margin Art Improves Book Of Hebrews

WICKER PARK, IL—Local freelance sidewalk artist and coffee artisan Juniper Everly confirmed today that her varied and elaborate works of margin art almost definitely improve upon the linguistic majesty of the book of Hebrews.

The masterpieces, which depict subjects such as anchors, sparrows, seashells, and paperclips overgrown with flowers and frills—some of which are accompanied by prayers or scriptural quotes—started as small doodles but soon outgrew the margins and spread all the way across the page, obscuring the text beneath. While some might be concerned this would render one of the New Testament’s most treasured works more difficult to read, Everly isn’t convinced it’s an issue.

“There’s a quiet, understated beauty in being able to journal my pictorial thoughts to God across the pages of Scripture using different-colored pens and pencils,” Everly told reporters as she handcrafted a Strawberry Açaí Refresher for a patron at the local coffee shop where she works. “Isn’t that what the Bible is all about—us being able to talk to God?” She then proudly displayed her rendering of a lion wearing a scarf drawn over the ninth chapter of Hebrews, which Everly thinks is kind of a redundant chapter anyway.

At publishing time, Everly had started working on Ephesians, her bold and daring art majestically depicting the words, “YOU MAKE BEAUTIFUL THINGS” all across the first chapter, which just lays out a few boring doctrines about salvation or something.