ITALY — With the election of right-wing candidate Giorgia Meloni as Italy's first female Prime Minister, the Left has announced they no longer support strong, independent women.

"This is an absolute disaster. Maybe women do belong in the kitchen," said Italian Leftist Atlantic contributor Gianna Mozzarella. "If we had spent less time empowering women, maybe we could have stopped this far, far-right, right-wing fascist, far-extremist far, far, Nazi right-extremist right-winger from getting elected."

Experts in the EU, the World Economic Forum, and famed supervillain organization Spectre are warning that Meloni is extremely dangerous. "We can't overstate just how far, far, far-right extremist and fascist this extremist fascist far-right woman really is," said WEF Founder Klaus Schwab. "She is a danger to our glorious dream of a New World Order because she believes in things like family and the infinite worth of the individual — which, I must remind you — are things only fascists believe in."

At publishing time, Stacey Abrams stepped forward to announce that the Prime Minister position in Italy had been stolen from her.

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