In Grievous Spelling Error, Child Sends Christmas Letter To Satan

PITTSBURGH, PA—In a grave, unfortunate spelling mishap, local youngster Jacob Thames accidentally sent his Christmas list to Satan instead of Santa as he had intended, sources with the U.S. Postal Service confirmed Thursday.

The 7-year-old accidentally inserted the “N” in Santa’s name in the wrong place, resulting in his letter being sent to the Prince of Darkness rather than the North Pole, according to reports.

The full text of his letter is as follows, as related by Thames himself:

DEAR SATAN,

I HAVE BEEN GOOD THIS YEAR. I WOULD LIKE:

RESIDENT EVIL 7
A NINTENDO
SOME FIDGET SPINNERS
MARIO
AND ALSO A ROBOT.

THANK YOU
JAKE

At publishing time, Satan had expedited the copy of Resident Evil 7 and several fidget spinners to the young man’s doorstep, sources confirmed.