EARTH—Earth was deemed unworthy of Ravi Zacharias today as God took him to Heaven where many have been awaiting his arrival for years.
"Listen, Earth, by God's grace, you got Ravi for 74 more years than you deserved. He's ours now," said Galael Zadradreal, Heaven's spokesangel. Heaven's staff says they have been fielding requests to meet Ravi for all of eternity. "There is a waiting list that goes on for miles. He just got here and he's already been giving out hugs and signing books for hours," one staffer said. "There's a line going all the way around one of our largest cumulonimbus clouds."
Angelic contractors have been working feverishly on his mansion since the day they received the news he was headed their way. "He's going to love it. We stenciled Chesterton and Muggeridge quotes in every room," head contractor angel Bob Azazael said.
Back on Earth, Christians are scurrying frantically in an attempt to figure out how they can fill the massive hole left by Ravi's absence. "From a scientific standpoint, the chasm he left cannot be filled," said one researcher. "The best we can do is to try our hardest to be the kind of Christians Ravi was. A true beacon of humility and Christ's love, displaying wisdom, gravity, and endless joy, never throwing out insults and always ready to give an answer not only with our words but for our very lives to be undeniable evidence of God's love and forgiveness. So let's get to work."
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