Politics
Debate Disaster: Trump Refuses To Denounce Team Rocket

U.S.—Trump got himself in some hot water during the debate earlier this week, refusing to denounce the evil actions of Team Rocket despite repeated pestering by Chris Wallace.

"Mr. President, will you or will you not condemn Jessie and James' blatant attempts to steal Ash's Pikachu?" Chris Wallace insisted.

"Who?" Trump asked. "I'm sorry, I was thinking of a new nickname for Sleepy Joe. What was the question?"

"Right here. Right now. You have the opportunity to denounce Team Rocket, so there will be no question on where you stand," Chris Wallace pressed.

"Sure. Yes, absolutely. Wait... that's the little weasel who steals Dora's stuff?" asked a flustered Trump.

"No, Mr. President. That's Swiper."

"Oh. Well, rockets are good, I like rockets. I started Space Force."

"No, Team Rocket. The dastardly villains, you know, who attempt to denounce the evils of truth and love and extend their reach to the stars above."

"Well, all I can say to them, is stand back and stand by. Let Officer Jenny handle things."

Analysts immediately slammed Trump for his comments, pointing out that he has never once denounced the dastardly duo and even suggested there were "very good people on both sides" of the Team Rocket vs. Ash Ketchum rivalry, though he says this was taken out of context.

Throughout the debate, Trump also refused to denounce many other things:

  • Nickelback
  • The Last Jedi
  • The laughing dog in Duck Hunt
  • Wesley Crusher
  • Unitarians
  • Attempts to remake The Princess Bride
  • Superman for Nintendo 64
  • Impossible-to-open clamshell packaging
  • People who put ketchup on steak

It's clear he's unworthy of the presidency.

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