SEATTLE, WA—As star worship leader Eddie “Dimebag” Johnson was preparing for church Sunday morning, the skilled guitarist and vocalist spilled nearly his entire mugful of freshly pressed artisan coffee all over his prized pair of skinny jeans, forcing the man to borrow a pair of his wife’s pants, sources confirmed Thursday.
A source within the household reported that Johnson was reaching for his tub of all-natural hair pomade when he inadvertently knocked over his favorite Teavana mug, scorching his skin and rendering his pair of AG skinny jeans unwearable.
“Well that’s just great! How am I supposed to lead people before the throne of God without my skinnys?” the clearly agitated Johnson was heard saying, running his hands through his perfectly layered fade hairdo.
But Johnson’s wife came to the rescue, as she had a recently purchased pair of True Religion skinny jeans for women, fresh out of the dryer, which she reportedly offered to let her husband wear for the day’s performance.
“Really, honey? You mean it? Oh man, you’re a lifesaver, babe,” Johnson is said to have gushed as he ran to their room to change.
According to Johnson, no one could tell the difference as he “nailed” his riffs and passionate vocal solos, all while dressed impeccably in his usual attire, save for the women’s jeans.
“They’re a little looser around the ankles than I like, but they did the trick,” Johnson told reporters after what was called a successful service. “I could get used to these little butterfly designs though. Very avant-garde.”