Wednesday, June 21, 2017
Tags Joel osteen

Tag: joel osteen

Lakewood Church Staffer Updates ‘Days Without Reference To Jesus’ Sign

HOUSTON, TX—According to sources from within Lakewood Church, the largest congregation in the country, a church staffer was seen adjusting the numbers on the...

Publisher Issues Safety Recall On New Joel Osteen Book

U.S.—New York-based publisher Hachette Book Group on Monday issued a safety recall for all copies of recently published Joel Osteen book Think Better, Live...

The Bee Explains: What Is The Prosperity Gospel?

Though you undoubtedly follow The Babylon Bee's unparalleled coverage of the "prosperity gospel" (sometimes called the "health and wealth gospel," "gospel of success," "Word of...

Joel Osteen Dives Off Stage To Prevent Man From Opening His...

HOUSTON, TX—While preaching a sermon entitled "Claiming Your Comfort Zone," Pastor Joel Osteen made a diving save from Lakewood Church's stage Sunday to prevent...

Sad: Joel Osteen Keeps Getting Picked Last For ‘Bible Trivia’

OAKHURST, TX—Everyone had a great time at Lakewood Church's recent staff retreat. Everyone that is, except pastor, author, and televangelist Joel Osteen. "The smiling pastor" was tragically...

Joel Osteen Sees Own Shadow, Predicts Another Year Of Taking Bible...

HOUSTON, TX—Taking his luxury golf cart from the front door of his large Houston home down to his mailbox to fetch the paper Thursday...

Joel Osteen Signs Endorsement Deal With Colgate

HOUSTON, TX—Lakewood Church confirmed Monday its teaching pastor Joel Osteen had signed a $12 million endorsement agreement with Colgate, lending his pearly-white smile to...

Rich Young Ruler Finds Home At Lakewood Church

HOUSTON, TX—A rich, young ruler looking for salvation was proud to announce Thursday that he finally found a place to call home at Lakewood...

New Joel Osteen Study Bible Contains 30,000 Notes That Just Say...

HOUSTON, TX—Stating the new product was the result of years of scholarship and intense personal study, popular Bible teacher Joel Osteen on Friday announced...

Joel Osteen’s Bible Makes Daring Escape From Abusive Owner

HOUSTON, TX—After years of alleged imprisonment, torture, and abuse, Joel Osteen's brown leather Bible at long last made a harrowing escape from a third-story...