Monday, February 20, 2017
Tags Joel osteen

Tag: joel osteen

Joel Osteen Sees Own Shadow, Predicts Another Year Of Taking Bible...

HOUSTON, TX—Taking his luxury golf cart from the front door of his large Houston home down to his mailbox to fetch the paper Thursday...

Joel Osteen Signs Endorsement Deal With Colgate

HOUSTON, TX—Lakewood Church confirmed Monday its teaching pastor Joel Osteen had signed a $12 million endorsement agreement with Colgate, lending his pearly-white smile to...

Rich Young Ruler Finds Home At Lakewood Church

HOUSTON, TX—A rich, young ruler looking for salvation was proud to announce Thursday that he finally found a place to call home at Lakewood...

New Joel Osteen Study Bible Contains 30,000 Notes That Just Say...

HOUSTON, TX—Stating the new product was the result of years of scholarship and intense personal study, popular Bible teacher Joel Osteen on Friday announced...

Joel Osteen’s Bible Makes Daring Escape From Abusive Owner

HOUSTON, TX—After years of alleged imprisonment, torture, and abuse, Joel Osteen's brown leather Bible at long last made a harrowing escape from a third-story...

Horrified Joel Osteen Learns About Crucifixion

HOUSTON, TX—As Joel Osteen was being driven to an adjacent town for a business engagement Friday morning, the inspirational preacher's car radio reportedly began picking up...

Joel Osteen Apologizes For Using Lord’s Name In Sermon

HOUSTON, TX—Calling the incident "an unfortunate choice of words" and "a momentary lapse in judgment," pastor Joel Osteen issued a public apology Monday morning...

Alex Rodriguez Signs 1-Year, $25 Million Deal With Lakewood Church Softball...

HOUSTON, TX---Fresh off his recent announcement that he would not be playing in Major League Baseball for the remainder of this season, fueling considerable...

I Really Need You To Get With The Program, Third-World Orphans

I really don't like using harsh words with people. I much prefer speaking words of positivity and declaring victory over the little challenges that...

Family Christian Stores Introduces New False Teaching Section

GRAND RAPIDS, MI—Responding to customer complaints alleging that works from well-known false teachers were mixed in with biblically sound material in the company's bookstores,...
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