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Wednesday, January 18, 2017
Tags Election 2016

Tag: election 2016

Local Christian’s Persecution Complex Sort Of Bummed Hillary Did Not Win

TALLAHASSEE, FL---Local Christian Evan Gaudreau seemed to have taken the election of Donald Trump in stride, but his internal persecution complex admitted Thursday that it...

Election Results Are In: Christ Still On His Throne

U.S.—A number of news outlets, including CNN, Fox News, and NBC, are calling the presidential election in favor of Jesus Christ, who is still...

‘The True Election Was In Eternity Past,’ Annoying Calvinist Keeps Reminding...

SEATTLE, WA---As Americans across the country cast their votes in the 2016 presidential election, local annoying Calvinist Eric Shaw is using the occasion of...

Voting Machine Glitch Only Showing Voters Two Terrible Major-Party Candidates

U.S.—Numerous reports coming in from the nation's polling places indicate that voting machines are allegedly defective, displaying only two awful major-party candidates for the...

Report: Votes Without Social Media Proof May Not Count

U.S.—Early reports indicate that votes not posted about on social media may not count toward the vote tally in the 2016 presidential race. Election officials...

Canada Braces For Influx Of American Refugees

OTTAWA, ONT—With Election Day 2016 finally here, Canadian officials have put in place emergency measures to prepare for a large influx of American refugees, no...

Trump Vows To Get Justice Scalia Back On Supreme Court

VALLEY FORGE, PA—At a campaign stop Tuesday morning, Donald Trump made a bold promise to prospective evangelical and right-wing voters, committing to get reliably...

Join Me, Christians. I Promise To Grant Your Religious Liberty A...

Greetings, Christians of America. I am running for President of the United States and I am writing today to ask for your vote. I know I...

Nation’s Christians Look Forward To Questioning Each Other’s Salvation In Post-Debate...

U.S.---Leading up to the third and final debate between presidential candidates Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton, multiple sources confirmed Wednesday that Christians across America...

‘You Deserve This’ Spelled Out In Clouds Over America

U.S.---The morning after the second presidential debate between Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton, citizens across the nation have reported seeing the words "you deserve this"...