DALLAS, TX—In what presented an exciting opportunity for aspiring musicians named Shane, worship music duo Shane & Shane held tryouts for additional Shanes this past weekend, looking to add one or two talented musicians also named Shane to their act. The duo is reportedly looking to rename their act Shane & Shane & Shane, or possibly Shane & Shane & Shane & Shane, depending on how many qualified Shanes they can find.
According to a blog post by Shane Barnard, one of the two current official Shanes, the auditions produced middling results. “We found one really talented autoharpist, but it turns out his name was actually Sean, not Shane—great guy, but just not right for the direction of our band. I mean, what do we call the group—Shane & Shane & Sean? That’s just obnoxious.”
Barnard went on to claim he and Shane Everett fruitlessly auditioned over 70 musicians named “Shane,” 12 named “Shayne,” and three named “Sean,” as well as one confused cellist named “George,” but none of them were found to possess the right mix of musical talent, proper theology, and first name of Shane in order to qualify for the popular Christian music act.
“I guess we’re just destined to be Shane & Shane for a while longer,” Barnard said. “By the way, Shane, how did John Piper get in the middle of that one song? His name’s not even Shane, I don’t think.”