Sanders: 'If You Like Your Paycheck, You Can Keep Your Paycheck'
Politics · Jul 19, 2019 · BabylonBee.com

PHILADELPHIA, PA - At a campaign stop Thursday evening, presidential candidate Bernie Sanders assured the nation that his proposed switch to socialism wouldn't threaten those who wished to keep their paycheck.

Sanders has talked often about how the socialist revolution will require higher taxes. Americans were getting understandably worried about his proposal since revolutions like that have had questionable results in the past, usually resulting in some unfortunate side effects like an economic slump and also hundreds of millions of deaths.

"Yes, we're going to tax people's paychecks, but if you like your paycheck, you can keep your paycheck," he said. "There's nothing to fear with socialism. Yes, we're going to alter the way the economy functions in a radical way, but that doesn't mean that you can't keep your factories, your small businesses, or the fruit of your labor."

"Better red than dead!" he added before aides gave him a "cut it out" gesture and he settled for a less inflammatory slogan: "Workers of the world, unite!"

Later, Sanders clarified that he would keep his own paycheck, but that yours would be taken away.


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