Man Asks For Help In Bitter Struggle Against Porn Filters

ST. LOUIS, MO—Stating he had come to the end of himself and could no longer “fight the good fight” on his own, local believer James Rawling reportedly humbled himself Wednesday and asked a brother in Christ to help him overcome the porn filters “that so easily entangle.”

“Brother Jake,” a broken-sounding Rawling said in a late-night phone call, “I’m sorry for bothering you so late, but I just can’t do this on my own anymore. I need someone to talk me through the process of bypassing my router’s filters and my accountability software.”

According to sources, Rawling poured his heart out to Brother Jake, his small-group leader, for nearly an hour, confessing he felt completely helpless in his life-and-death struggle with the various countermeasures against pornographic content he had installed himself not twelve hours before.

“Iron sharpens iron after all,” Rawling said as he waited for his router’s firmware to reinstall after Brother Jake had gently but firmly talked him through his moment of weakness. “A cord of three strands is not easily broken—much like state-of-the-art web filters.”