Logos Update Introduces Microsoft Clippy To Correct Pastors’ Unbiblical Sermons

BELLINGHAM, WA—The programming team behind Logos Bible Software announced Wednesday that an upcoming program update will include an officially licensed version of Microsoft’s “Clippy” digital assistant, an on-screen anthropomorphized paper clip who has been programmed to correct weak and unbiblical sermons being typed up in Logos 7’s Sermon Editor.

“Hi! It looks like your Trinity illustration is drifting into modalism. Would you like me to suggest some other illustrations you might use?” Clippy said in a demonstration of the new update as a pastor typed in a paragraph comparing the triune Godhead to the three different states of water. In another portion of the demo video, Clippy suggested that a pastor stick to the original context of a verse rather than trying to inject modern understandings of certain words and concepts into the text.

“Clippy’s been redesigned from the ground up to catch common heresies and unbiblical lines of thought that tend to creep into many pastors’ messages,” one programmer told reporters. “Now you can type away and trust that ol’ Clipster here has your back.”

Logos programmers reportedly consulted with top evangelical theologians to confirm that Clippy has been programmed with a biblical understanding of the Christian faith and proper historical-grammatical hermeneutics.

At publishing time, Logos had confirmed several more of Clippy’s new phrases, such as “It looks like you’re trying to eisegete your own theological system into the text,” “Would you like me to show you how to rightly divide this text without totally butchering it?” and “For goodness’ sake, would you stop talking about yourself and start preaching Christ crucified for once!”