Local Singles Ministry Just One Lonely Guy Hanging Out In Church Cafe By Himself

LA PUENTE, CA—According to sources at Grace Baptist Church, a recent singles ministry event consisted solely of lonely church member Bill Tucker quietly sipping a latte at the church’s on-campus cafe by himself.

Tucker has reportedly headed up the singles ministry—comprised of only himself—for more than eight years, and shows up at the church cafe every Wednesday in hopes that at least one other single person will attend.

“I really want to pour my heart and soul into some single Christians,” Tucker told reporters, gesturing to the collection of empty tables he had pushed together for the meetup. “I pray especially that a single woman about my age would join up with the group. Or anyone, really. Please—anyone at all.”

Tucker’s hopes were lifted as a group of young adults entered the church cafe close to 8:00 p.m., but he was soon disappointed to discover they were there to run the young marrieds Bible study, and went back to reading his car magazine.