Local Man To Mortify Indwelling Sin Of Laziness, Tomorrow

LANSING, MI—Citing a recent study of the book of Proverbs as the source of his inspiration and conviction, local Christian Jonathan Pease boldly declared Friday afternoon that he will launch his radical plan to start “getting serious” about fighting his persistent tendency toward laziness tomorrow.

“I’ve waited too long to do this. I won’t hold out another day,” Pease wrote on his blog, which tackles topics like Christian living and theology. “Therefore, I’m going to get started on fighting this sin of laziness and procrastination immediately, tomorrow.” He went on to state that he would have started today, but he wasn’t “feeling it” at the moment.

While Pease expressed his excitement about cracking down on his responsibility-shirking first thing in the morning, the blogger did acknowledge the possibility that the start date for his anti-laziness initiative might be pushed to the following day, or the day after that, depending on how he feels tomorrow.