LGBT Advocacy Group Launches Center For Advanced Ad Hominems

BOSTON, MA—Touting the vast potential of the new organization to equip a new generation with state-of-the-art training in forming and deploying ad hominem attacks against social conservatives, LGBT advocacy group GLAD formally announced the opening of its Center for Advanced Ad Hominems with a celebration and ribbon-cutting ceremony Friday.

The nonprofit organization, made possible by a federal grant of $21 million, aims to create and distribute content to improve the average LGBT advocate’s ad hominem reasoning, with a special focus on their ability to launch an ‘efficient and effective’ personal attack in any political or cultural disagreement, instead of replying directly to arguments made by any backwards idiot who might challenge their progressive views on sexuality, according to CAAD President Genny Fitzgerald.

Asked if the grand opening had met any push-back from critics, Fitzgerald replied, “Only from subhuman, hate-mongering bigots.”