WINNETKA, IL — According to sources, a local kindergarten teacher Marion Buntley helped to expand her young students' minds by asking them to draw a picture of what gender they want to be when they grow up.

"Ok, kids, I want you to use your imaaaaaagination!" said Buntley to the confused children. "You can be aaaaany gender you want! What gender would you like to be someday?"

Witnesses say one young student who is allegedly a boy raised his hand and asked "What's gender, Mx. Buntley?"

"Nobody knows, Timmy," replied the teacher. "Gender can mean literally anything because gender means nothing. Just draw a picture of your heart's deepest desire and I'll get the GSA counselor and Planned Parenthood clinician to start your transition immediately!"

The assignment confirmed that the class held 4 butterflies, 6 dinosaurs, 2 G.I. Joes, 7 trees, 5 Nintendo Switches, 2 cookies, 3 pizzas, and 1 pirate stabbing another pirate.

At publishing time, the teacher had recorded a TikTok video bragging that all 30 of her students were now members of the LGBTQ+ community.

World, meet Travis. Travis, meet the world. In this first episode of our new show Travis Interviews the World, we interview some guy named Jordan Peterson.