Joel Osteen Signs Endorsement Deal With Colgate

HOUSTON, TX—Lakewood Church confirmed Monday its teaching pastor Joel Osteen had signed a $12 million endorsement agreement with Colgate, lending his pearly-white smile to print, internet, and television ads for the popular toothpaste brand.

According to inside sources, brands like Aquafresh, Crest, and Sensodyne had also made lucrative offers, but Osteen himself selected Colgate as the winning bidder after stating it was the only brand that he trusted to help him maintain his trusted televangelist persona.

“I already use Colgate. I go through around 12 cases each week,” Osteen said at a press conference Monday. “So it was a natural fit for me.” Osteen also claimed he uses Colgate teeth whitening strips and whitening gel on a daily basis, to give his teeth “that healthy glow” he’s famous for.

“The most important step of my sermon preparation, besides making sure my suit is pressed and my hair is nicely shaped, is polishing my teeth with a wide array of Colgate products, so people know they’re getting a good product on Sunday,” Osteen said.

Osteen’s deal reportedly included free product for the televangelist and over $12 million in cash, while granting Colgate exclusive advertising rights inside Lakewood Church’s 40,000-seat arena.

According to sources, the famous pastor has also been in talks with top hair gel brands, with experts predicting that an endorsement deal featuring Osteen’s shiny locks could be worth north of $20 million.