Hip Pastor Definitely Not Preaching, Just Sittin’ On This Stool Chattin’ With Ya

ORLANDO, FL—Jason Danzig of Exponential Worship Spot wants you to know that he is definitely not preaching to you.

Danzig spoke with reporters Saturday as he was preparing for Exponential’s Sunday worship experience (it’s not a “service,” he was quick to point out). “I’m the SPARK—Senior Pathfinder of Artistry, Reverie, and Kingdom-extension—of this worship spot. And when you come to this spot—it’s not a “church,” by the way—you will never catch me preaching to you.”

“Will I be on stage? Yeah, but I’ve got a stool I’m sittin’ on, totally casually up there, sippin’ my joe. Will I be speaking in your direction? Sure. But I’m just chattin’ with ya. Think of it as a series of audible texts or verbal tweets.”

“I love Jason’s style,” Hannah Lopez, a local college student, gushed to reporters. “He may be up on stage with a microphone and jeans that I can’t afford, but I never feel like he knows more than me. It’s hard to describe, but I just feel like he gets my generation. Hold up—OK, I just tweeted that to him.”

“Thanks, Hannah!” called Danzig from across the room, before turning his attention to reporters again. “I love that she could tweet me that without having to walk over here. Who has time for that? Our culture is moving fast, man. I might do a chat series this summer entirely over Periscope.”

According to Exponential Lead Vision Caster Sammy Pettite, Danzig’s chats are tailored for maximum digital effect. “They’re vloggable, tweetable, snapchatable, and whatever-the-next-big-app-is-able. Plus, Jay’s always got a cup of coffee on a bar table next to him. It’s a Starbucks vibe—he’s just choppin’ it up with us, you know?”

“It’s not my worship experience—it’s yours,”  Danzig added. “I’m just the SPARK.”