Google Unveils New Slogan

MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA—Tech giant Google rolled out its new company tagline across its myriad internet properties Tuesday, transitioning to the company-wide slogan of “War is peace. Freedom is slavery. Ignorance is strength.”

The slogan, inspired by that of the Party in Google co-founder Sergey Brin’s favorite book 1984, is meant to convey the value the Company places on doublethink, while also instilling in users’ minds that the Company always knows best.

“We want our new slogan to remind everyone that the Company is watching you, and thoughtcrimes will not be tolerated,” Google CEO Sundar Pichai announced via a Google+ post after the new slogan was unveiled.

“Google is watching you, and has the ability to turn you into an unperson,” he continued.

At publishing time, the Company had deployed its police force to arrest a citizen for googling, “How many genders are there?” shortly after firing an employee for questioning whether men and women were different. According to sources, both individuals were being sent to Google’s infamous Room 101 to be broken down and rebuilt.