TORONTO, CANADA—According to a report from Parliament Wesleyan Church, one of the church’s community groups has been using the popular Christian term “fellowship” to secretly refer to its weekly gatherings centered around playing the popular board game The Settlers of Catan.
The seven families involved in the group reportedly gather at a different house for “fellowship” every Thursday afternoon, Bibles and study materials in tow. But after checking to make sure no one has been followed to the meeting place, the group breaks out several copies of the hit European strategy game, which members play until the early morning hours.
“Oh yes, we really love ‘fellowship’ at our ‘community group,'” one member of the group recently said while in the church lobby, referring to the gatherings at which God and Jesus are only mentioned in passing, usually to beseech the Lord for favor when another player rolls a “7” on the resource die. “I wish more churches emphasized ‘fellowship’ like Parliament Wesleyan does.”
“Hey Liam, I’m gonna mop the floor with you as we ‘fellowship’ together this week! Ten victory points—er, Bible verses, I mean—here I come!” he added to another church member passing by.
At publishing time, the church had further discovered that every single one of its twelve active community groups was simply using the word “fellowship” as code for hanging out and partaking in various non-church-related activities.