Estimate: World’s ‘Gospel-Centered’ Book Title Reserves To Be Depleted By 2053

WHEATON, IL—In a grave warning to the Christian authors and religious bookstores around the world, Crossway Publishing announced Monday that the world’s reserves of book titles containing the phrase “Gospel-Centered” are estimated to run dry by the year 2053.

The announcement came as a shock to publishers of gospel-centered resources, as previous reports had estimated the reserves of book concepts that could have “Gospel-Centered” shoehorned onto the title could last until 2124 at the very least. But accelerated tapping of the term among Christian publishers has seen the precious resource, the “lifeblood” of the theologically conservative book industry, diminishing at an alarming rate.

“Low-hanging fruit like ‘Gospel-Centered Preaching,’ ‘Gospel-Centered Discipleship,’ ‘Gospel-Centered Life,’ and ‘Gospel-Centered Youth Ministry’ have obviously been slowly milked dry for years,” Crossway spokesperson A. J. Thomas said at an emergency press conference. “But we’ve found that unprecedented levels of onshore and foreign book publication of titles like ‘The Gospel-Centered Cookbook,’ ‘Gospel-Centered Woodworking,’ and even ‘Gospel-Centered Gospel-Centeredness’ have sent us hurtling toward the end of our Gospel-Centered reserves far earlier than anyone had anticipated.”

Thomas wrapped up the conference by urging book publishers and authors to conserve our precious Gospel-centered resources, and he reiterated the need for alternative sources of book titles. “We call upon the governments of the world to invest desperately needed funds into research and development of emerging book title descriptors, like ‘Jesus-Centered,’ ‘Christocentric,’ or even just ‘Christian.'”