Clinton Caught Stealing From Bank At Customary DNC Monopoly Game

PHILADELPHIA, PA—As part of an annual Democratic National Convention tradition, Hillary Clinton faced off with notable Democrats in a friendly game of Monopoly Tuesday night. But it wasn’t all fun and games, as a bitter dispute broke out in the fourth hour of the gaming session, when Clinton was reportedly caught sneaking numerous $500 Monopoly bills from the bank.

Former opposing candidate Bernie Sanders first cast suspicion on Clinton’s wrongdoing as the presidential nominee landed on his lucrative monopoly on Park Place, but was able to cough up the cash without any trouble at all.

“How many $500 bills do you have there, out of curiosity?” Sanders asked, a note of accusation in his voice.

“Mind your own business, has-been. You’re all washed up,” Clinton was heard snapping back to the Vermont Senator as she quickly stuffed her piles of money in her pockets where her opponents couldn’t openly count her cash. “No one likes a sore loser, Bernie.” But other players Michelle Obama and Joe Biden weren’t buying it either, and reportedly called for a neutral party to investigate Hillary’s financial dealings in the economic board game.

The investigation into the accusation of cheating, however, revealed that Clinton was simply “extremely careless” with letting large sums of cash from the game’s common supply mix in with her own holdings, and she was cleared of any wrongdoing.