CIA Agent Flips On Local Family’s TV To Binge-Watch Season Of Their Private Life

LANGLEY, VA—Settling into his office chair after popping himself a bag of butter-flavored popcorn Thursday, CIA agent Mark Neilson flipped on the Johnson family’s Samsung television to binge-watch an entire season of their private life, sources confirmed.

While he only intended to watch a short snippet or two of their personal, private drama, Agent Neilson found himself quickly drawn in by the intricate plot line, entangled web of relationships, and snappy, clever dialogue.

“Man, I wonder if Jenna’s gonna figure out that Jake is cheating on her with Carla anytime soon,” Neilson said to another agent while refilling his cup of coffee in a break room. “The tension is killing me!”

“And I can’t wait to see when Jenna’s pregnancy test comes back. Man, if she’s pregnant, Jake is going to be so freaked out.”

At publishing time, Neilson had finished every available video clip of the Johnson family’s private life, and found himself browsing through other familes’ private lives to binge-watch while he waited for the next season to hit.