Bored With Porn, Man Turns To ‘Game Of Thrones’

CHICAGO, IL—Stating that his porn habit had started to grow a bit lackluster and dull, local man Jim Larson announced Wednesday his plans to begin binge-watching the hit HBO series Game of Thrones in order to “spice things up a bit.”

The 33-year-old reportedly experienced a general malaise while viewing hours of filthy content online recently, a problem he attributes to “just not finding the right kind of porn to really satisfy my soul,” adding that one can “only ratchet up the depravity so far.” But as a last-ditch effort to chase the ever-fleeting satisfaction porn offers him, Larson intends to begin viewing the graphic sexual content which dominates the Game of Thrones series.

Larson said the idea came to him as he heard a couple at church talking about the show, and how they were unable to make it through the first season due to the level of gratuitous nudity and explicit sexual content. “Excuse me—what show are you talking about?” Larson, interrupting the couple, asked excitedly. “Game of Thrones? Great, thanks—I’ll talk to you guys later; I have something to take care of.” Larson then cut out of church early to head home and begin downloading the first three seasons.

“I’m really excited about this,” Larson reportedly said as he waited for the episodes to download through his BitTorrent client. “I’ve viewed every conceivable type of pornography—we’re talking some sick, twisted stuff—but nothing really gets me going anymore. I guess I’ve just gotten—what do they call it? Desensitized?”

“I just hope it’s as graphic as everyone says it is.”

At publishing time, Larson was several episodes into the first season, and had declared that the show was “really delivering.”