DEERFIELD, IL—In a historic undertaking, a group of Reformed theologians has called together a meeting of the Westminster Assembly in order to update the Larger and Shorter Catechisms, spokespeople reported.
“Obviously, this kind of thing doesn’t happen very often, given the gravity of such a weighty task,” said Alistair Borrow, chairman of the Board of Divines. “But we believe that given the nature of changes in technology and culture, it is time to reflect that in the understanding of the historic Reformed faith.”
One heavily debated addition to the Larger Catechism will be the inclusion of blog posts and Twitter as ordinary means of grace. “Q. 154 was a huge hurdle for some of our divines,” said Alistair Steele, Undersecretary of the Board. “But we must acknowledge the fact that an argument of 140 characters or fewer can turn a hardened heart to repentance just as well as the Word, sacraments, and prayer. And the testimony we have from watchbloggers on their own behalf is incontrovertible.”
The inclusion of Facebook comments was suggested, but the motion was immediately rejected upon discovering that no grace existed in Facebook comments.