Benny Hinn Spends Grueling Week At Dojo Practicing Spirit-Slayings

LAGUNA HILLS, CA—In an experience that left him “focused and ready to jump right back into ministry,” Benny Hinn spent a week at a high-end dojo in the Orange County foothills, training and practicing new methods of knocking people over with his hands and coat, his ministry confirmed Thursday.

The intensive regimen reportedly included strength training, balance exercises, and advanced classes in which Hinn was able to study the techniques of some of today’s very best slayers-in-the-Spirit.

The televangelist claims the trip to the dojo was something of a return to his roots, as he had trained there “with some of the greats” in his youth.

“When you’re as successful as I am, it’s easy to start letting your technique get sloppy,” Hinn told reporters after he returned from his trip. “Next thing you know your anointing is weak, and you can barely slap someone down with your suit coat.”

“It was really refreshing to get back to my humble beginnings as a small-time showman and continue to hone my ability to knock people over like bowling pins,” he added. “I feel stronger than ever.”