‘2 + 2 = 4,’ Insists Closed-Minded Bigot

MUNCIE, IN—In a mathematics lesson delivered to her kindergarten class Tuesday, local teacher and closed-minded bigot Becky Delatorre reportedly insisted that two plus two equals four, all the time, to the exclusion of all other numbers, no matter how anyone feels about it.

Asking her class the question, “What does two plus two equal?” the intolerant zealot systematically denied the possibility that the answer could be anything but “four,” going so far as to single out the specific integers three and seven as “wrong” when mentioned by students as possible answers.

“Is it three?” one young student asked, before another yelled out, “No! It’s seven, right? Seven!” The narrow-minded teacher shot them both down, dogmatically insisting that the only answer is four, no matter what anyone else thought or how it made the children feel.

“That’s right class, two plus two equals four,” Delatorre reportedly repeated numerous times.

After horrified students reported the incident to their parents, the school district had no choice but to take action, and has suspended the teacher without pay until the incident has been investigated more thoroughly.

“We are a place that values all opinions, feelings, and expressions,” the superintendent said in a statement Tuesday. “There is no room for intolerance of any kind in our schools.”